Bereavement Support
Supporting Children with Bereavement
When someone you love and care for dies, there is no right or wrong way to feel or behave.
Like adults, children will grieve in lots of different ways, it is important that they know that all their feelings are OK and normal.
It is important that you are as honest and open as possible with children (in an age-appropriate way) as children have very active imaginations and they will fill in the gaps in what they have or haven’t been told, often with something even more horrendous than the truth.
Avoid euphemisms such as ‘passed away’ or ‘a star in the sky’ and use the words dead and died as otherwise children will not fully understand what has happened.
Children will ask lots of different questions, some that might be quite upsetting to hear or to try to answer but remember that this is a lot to process for young children, especially if it is their first experience of death. Be honest and remember that it is OK to say that you don’t know the answer to a question but don’t dismiss their questions.
All children process things differently, some children will react to the death straight away while others might seem not to be affected at the time but might react to it weeks or even months later. Feelings will go up and down – and this is to be expected. Children need to be reassured that it is OK to be happy at times, it doesn’t mean that they have forgotten the person or that they are no longer sad too.
We have added links here to useful websites and resources for further support.
Books are often a great way of discussing difficult topics with children, here is a list of books that we recommend.
The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrop
Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley
While We Can’t Hug by Eoin McLaughlin
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
The Invisible Web Patrice Karst
I have a question about death by Arlen Grad Gaines (this book is specifically for children with autism or other SEND)
Goodbye Mog by Judith Kerr
Michael Rosen’s Sad Book by Michael Rosen
The Hare-Shaped Hole by John Dougherty
These books are not specifically about bereavement but are about managing strong feelings
Rain before Rainbows by Smriti Halls
Felix After The Rain by Dunja Jogan
The Wind May Blow by Sasha Quinton.
Please remind children that they can use the Worry Button on the school website to contact us if they need to. If you would like to contact the wellbeing team, please email c.wells@mayplace.bexley.sch.uk and one of us will contact you.
Bereavement Support Services
Brake
The National Road Victim Service is a free, professional support service for road victims run by Brake. We can help you in your darkest and most difficult times. We can help with practical challenges and provide emotional support, from day one of the crash onwards.
Bexley and Bromley Cruse
www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
Cruse provides confidential counselling advice, information and support where appropriate to anyone living in the boroughs of Bexley and Bromley who is bereaved.
Please telephone our referrals secretary on 020 8304 5245 who will make the necessary arrangements for a meeting with a Cruse volunteer. If a message is left on the answer phone, the caller is contacted as soon as is practicable, however, they cannot provide emergency support. We can also be contacted by e-mail on bexleyandbromley@cruse.org.uk
We do not have our own premises . Our volunteers can meet clients in the clients home or at rooms hired from other charities in Bexleyheath, Sidcup and Bromley. Anyone seeking support from Cruse may also find useful information on the main website on
Child Bereavement UK
https://www.childbereavementuk.org/
Get in touch via our Helpline on 0800 02 888 40 | helpline@childbereavementuk.org or Live Chat via the website and we can help you find the support that suits your needs.
Winston’s Wish
Winston’s Wish supports children and young people who have lost a parent or sibling. Call 08088 020 021, Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm, email ask@winstonswish.org or use online chat on Wednesdays and Fridays from 12pm to 4pm.
In a crisis, you can also text WW to 85258 at any time. A trained volunteer will text back and help you work through your feelings over messenger until you feel safer and calmer.
The Compassionate Friends
TCF is run by bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents to support anyone who has suffered the death of a child or children of any age, from any cause.
Call 0345 123 2304 any day of the year from 10am to 4pm and 7pm to 10pm. You can also email helpline@tcf.org.uk or join an online forum or Facebook group.
Jigsaw Southeast
Jigsaw helps children and young people through the loss of a loved one, including giving advice on how to prepare for a loss caused by terminal illness. Call 01342 313 895 from 9am to 12pm, or email info@jigsawsoutheast.org.uk